sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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