I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
