I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
