Having a random hookup so left but love u
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
