their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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