My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
