I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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