Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize