At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize