I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
