I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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