I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
