How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
