I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was like eating out sand paper
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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