what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
