So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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