sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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