I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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