I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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