We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
