in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
