Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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