wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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