so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
