Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize