The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
