I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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