She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
