if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How external is "for external use only"?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
