HIV tests are more positive than that guy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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