I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
