He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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