I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
