Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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