The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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