He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
