apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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