It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
