My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
