i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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