"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
