ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
