I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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