Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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