Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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