Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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