Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
try to milk me bitch
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
