I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He felt like a one man threesome
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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