I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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