I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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