the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
