I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
