she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
