your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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