So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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