Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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