I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
