what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
