yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
