So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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