You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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