bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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