bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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