Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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