the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize