toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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