So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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