suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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