That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
