She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
