I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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