the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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