Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
