Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
