Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
