when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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