i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
