she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
