does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
