We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
